In the belly of the beast

I promised friends and family from both sides of the Atlantic that I would write about what I was doing and post lots of photos. The photos part was easy thanks to Facebook but the writing part was a bit harder to fit in thanks to simply being so happily busy. I have always kept a handwritten journal but transferring it to the keyboard isn't something I enjoy doing (mainly because I often can't read my own handwriting). But yesterday I visited the Margaret Mitchell House here in Atlanta and was a bit shamed out when I saw what Margaret had to type on!

Yes, I am sitting in the place where Margaret Mitchell wrote "Gone With the Wind"!

I do consider myself to be a writer above everything else I might get up to--but writing, like a few other bad habits, is a solitary activity and I have been blessed to be surrounded by friends, friends of friends and strangers who became friends these past few weeks. In fact, as I got on the Greyhound to travel to New Orleans Saturday evening, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the first time I have been on my own since I arrived in Phoenix. As I waved goodbye to Austin and suddenly became a woman on her own nearly 5,000 miles away from her home, I was struck by the familiarity of the feeling: after all I had done that very thing when I had packed my suitcase and got on that plane to London twenty-four years ago. Or, if you like, two Jupiter returns ago when I was nearly 24 years old. I am now just starting my 5th Jupiter return so I find myself doing an awful lot of comparing.

Returns give us a chance to compare one period of time to another. When we return to a place we have visited before, the dominant feeling can be one of reflecting on what has changed or what has remained the same. I very much liked how my new friend Samuel Reynolds described a 4th Jupiter return as "being in the belly of the beast". What's in the belly has only two options for continued survival: either through one end or the other. It's often not our choice which end gets the privilege of doing the eliminating. But what is MOST important it what the body absorbs and nourishes.

I left the US because of the fucking stupid gun laws and yet I never gave myself the chance, never having travelled West of the Mississippi, to see and experience the beautiful people and surroundings of America. Instead, I adapted as quickly as I possibly could to life in the UK by having a family and at my third Jupiter return beginning a new career in teaching. It bothered me somewhat that I was never regarded as being fully British even though I called the UK my home and often stated I had no intention of returning to the US. I often scoffed at other Americans, preferring to side with a lot of my British family (I assumed) in the opinion that The USA was seriously fucked up on junk food, gun laws, 4 rounds of Bush administration, thinly veiled segregation, conservative religious views, greed and blind patriotism. I didn't give the US a chance to show me what she was really like. So these past few weeks, I've been processing and getting rid of 24 years of anger, prejudice and assumptions toward and about my Homeland. I've reached out--and will continue to reach out--to friends I haven't seen since I left the US. I've visited cities I never thought I was interested in and even sampled American wines (cheers Tim!!). And yet at the same time, I have tried to be loving and forgiving to myself--because I also realised being angry at my roots has made the tree weak and unproductive. 

So I'm absorbing the beauty of the US, appreciating the kindness and generosity of old friends, new friends and complete strangers who have gone out of their way to make sure I had enough tea to function--the manager of the hotel I am staying at in Atlanta personally delivered a handful of English Breakfast teabags yesterday morning when I arrived exhausted from a second consecutive night on a Greyhound (that is not a complaint by the way), way too early to check in and in need of a shower and a few hours of uninterrupted sleep (they kindly let me check in at 9am!!!). In the past few weeks, I have walked where Janis Joplin, John Steinbeck and Margaret Mitchell--three of my favourite American heroes--walked. I went swimming in the Pacific for the first time in my life and bawled my eyes out at the edge of the Grand Canyon, so awed was I at the presence of such beauty and majesty. I heard real jazz on Bourbon Street (God it was so hard to tear myself away), walked along the Mighty Mississippi and rode on a paddleboat in homage to Mark Twain.

And to think I used speaking at a few conferences as an excuse to visit!!!

Tomorrow I fly out to New York to the State of the Art Astrology conference, then to family and friends in Michigan, back to New York to see the Statue of Liberty and all the other East Coast delights I never thought I'd actually look forward to seeing.

At the ISAR banquet, I saw an astrologer from Austin and blurted out to her that I was travelling to Austin to see an old friend. Without even thinking twice, she invited me to her home so I could speak to her astrology group. In Austin, we had a chance to talk astrology and she pointed out my Solar Part of Self was at 16 Aries--currently being transited by Uranus! No wonder I'm not in any sort of mood

to listen to anyone's bullshit on how I should work, play or live my life. She let me talk to her cats like the Crazy Cat Lady I am (how lucky I am that the folks I have been staying with are cat lovers too--I think it really staved off homesickness!!), gave me much needed affirmation and advice and told me what I have always known deep inside: I am not a person who conforms easily. I think my third Jupiter return was based on conformity and doing what I was "supposed" to do (it all even went so far as to deny myself the right to be called by the name I preferred to referred to!!). It explains why I became so ground down, frustrated, unhealthy and unhappy as well as why I really needed a time out to think about my next move and clear space for this new cycle of Jupiter. This is NOT to say I have any regrets about the past Jupiter return because I understand so much more about myself, the kind of people I like to have around me and the experiences I need to truly honour who I am. But I can see I am now in a process of re-claiming my life. . .and that's going to take a lot of work.

So I guess I am a changed person, having given myself the chance to see myself and the world around me from a new perspective. Jupiter returns do that. I will certainly have a lot to write and talk about when I return to London.

The Story So Far

So I landed in Phoenix just in time for sunset and checked into the beautiful Wild Horse Pass Resort. 

After such a long trip, I was tempted to "hit the sack" (how long has it been since I've said this??) but I didn't want to miss anything!! 

The first person I bumped into was the gorgeous Frank Clifford!! Then I saw Frances Clynes and Poul Madsen and it started to feel like I had never left London!! I tried to stay up until midnight (that would be 8am London time!!) but I fell a little short of the mark. When I woke up four hours later, I was absolutely ravenous. I thought "This is America where nothing is ever closed!" so I went back downstairs on the scrub for grub only to find everything was shut. So what's a traveller to do? Room service!! The menu said "two eggs" but from what was served, I could only come to the conclusion that the hens here in Phoenix had to be ten feet tall. Never mind gila monsters, scorpions and rattlesnakes, the animal I'm most afraid of is giant chickens (I also had chicken at the Rawhide Restaurant which confirmed my theory). Breakfast was delivered by a smiling (!!) and very polite server who was so sweet and genuine I thought I would never want to leave Phoenix. British workers take note!

In the middle of all this, was my talk (the main reason I'm here) and it was well received and people that I've spoken to are intrigued by astrology in education. So I was really optimistic that some good was going to come from networking. Little did I know. . .

In the evening, I re-connected with some super cool people I had met earlier in the day at the poolside bar. One was an astrologer explaining to a non astrologer that the Moon had just ingressed into Scorpio. On the TV, there was an interview with the bouncy Morgana the Kissing Bandit. I couldn't resist saying: "And there's your Scorpio in Moon moment!!" We've been hanging out together ever since. One is NY astrologer, Tisch Aitken who has invited me to stay with her in Manhatten after SOTA!! Whoo hoo!!

On Saturday I was doing a bit better with the old jet lag and I woke up at 7am and hit the pool. I was joined later by Tisch and her friend Kim. Together we are the Witches of Eastwick waiting for our Jack Nicholson!

So as the morning turned into the afternoon, we noticed that the bar staff were starting to stare at the skies very intensely and then started to take the umbrellas down. What's up? we wondered. Turns out, there was a storm coming. I looked at the skies carefully and rubbed some more sunscreen on. Whatever was coming would probably blow over. But then the clouds got quite dark but this only meant it wasn't so hot so we stayed by the pool. All the while, the bar staff huddled together as if planning something. Every now and again, a little raindrop fell on us. Then it started to rain a little harder--and then whoooooosh, the dust blew in and we headed for cover. And then the heavens opened.  Eventually we were shooed (in a very nice way) back to main hotel and we got DRENCHED even though we were only out for a few minutes!! It was an amazing storm that we watched (dripping wet) from the safety of the hotel. It was a doozey. Lots of flash floods, lots of soaked and excited people and lots of hotel workers talking in hushed whispers. Luckily, the storm blew over but we heard there had been funnel clouds in the area. Funnel Clouds! I had forgotten about those.

The ISAR banquet was great fun as it was hosted by the very funny Michael Lutin. I loved the way the America astrologers refer to each other as "our tribe" or "our community". In true Uranian style, no astrologer feels excluded from the herd.

With my tour of The Grand Canyon, Sedona and Las Vegas now booked (as well as a ticket to see David Copperfield!!), I was feeling amazing. I had dinner with Brooklyn astrologer Samuel Reynolds--whom I always wanted to meet (what an incredible man!!)--and I was asked to speak in Austin Texas by Naomi Bennett, the president of the Texas based group. How synchronous that I'm going to be visiting an old friend the day before--I don't have to adjust my itinerary!

So it continues to be a trip that is just miracle after miracle. Thank you Transit Jupiter on my Natal Mercury!