Ahhhh. . .

Here's something to aspire to. . .a special Venus in 7th--with a Neptune transit--for all you lovers everywhere. . .

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping – Love you!!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am! drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!”

On Vacation!

Pardon the delay. . .I'm in the US on vacation! Woohoo! (The picture to the left is of my lovely daughter Jessica in the Native American Indian outfit my sister used to wear--Jess is still a bit too small to wear mine.) The only problem is that I keep bumping into fat, bald, wrinkly old men. Then I realise I went to school with them!

I may be on holiday but my sense of humour isn't. To celebrate getting old, here's a Saturn in the 7th joke.

An old man and his woman are sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their sixtieth wedding anniversary. She touches his hand and says: "You know, after all these years, my nipples are still hot for you!"

The husband says: "They should be. One's in your coffee, the other's in your oatmeal!"