Saturday, 27 July 2013

Dear Brain

Dear Brain,
It's OK now, school's out. You don't have to think about finding a skirt to wear, putting on mascara, wearing shoes, getting change for lunch money, feeling guilty and over indulgent for calling a cab because Alex overslept again, getting to staff briefings on time, red reports, subject reports, checking on all the tutor groups and/or planning trips and/or checking on the happiness and safety of 180 pupils plus 12 members of Alex's team (but Alex having a stellium in Cancer means you worry about everyone!), break and lunch duties, planning lessons and giving out homework, marking 390 books, pretending to be afraid of ofsted, answering 100 emails every day, remembering to do late detentions, attending staff/departmental meetings (and acting enthusiastic and interested), sneaking onto facebook hoping Big Brother doesn't notice, nudging Alex to remember to run to the loo at 11:08, reminding Alex to fill the kettle to make tea in the middle of lessons (as well as reminding her to grab enough milk, tea and sugar to last until 3:00pm), no need for another reminder to Alex to run to the loo at 2:08 as her bladder can cope, turning off maternal instincts and pretending not to be a mother (my my my that's hard work), making loads of phone calls and being overly polite when the person on the other end only has to read their child's homework diary once in a while, sparkly earrings, pink socks, trainers, baseball caps and bags with logos are now absolutely fine so you don't have to fill in yet another confiscation form, chewing gum is also OK so no community service is necessary, it's also perfectly legal for people to run down the corridor like maniacs because if someone gets hurt you don't have to do a thing about it, if you see a fight look the other way and carry on walking, you do not have to respond immediately to anyone calling out "Miss!!!!", you can now turn off the alarm and let Alex sleep in until way past 7:30am, you can now let Alex write what she wants, use the phone at will, let her eat breakfast at 4pm and drink as much tea as she likes until then.
So. . .lots of empty spaces in the timetable. Relax. It's the summer hols!!
And thanks for all your hard work this academic year.