Thursday, 26 August 2010

This is how I feel about PDF conversions!

Every time I think I finish the Quarterly and try to do the conversion to PDF, something screws up! A margin will shift, one of the headers or footers will move themselves around, text boxes will magically take residence where they're not supposed to and mess up the pagination.
Anyway, this is how I feel about the process. . .
Let's call it Saturn square Mercury. . .

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Pisces Full Moon: ferget tryin' to be purreckt

Most of this summer I've been writing and fussing and correcting and looking for mistakes. . .
So imagine my curiosity when on a break, I saw a very pretty woman stomping down the road, carrying a huge bouquet of red roses. With a face like thunder (her face, not mine!), I watched in awe as she dumped the flowers in a tip. Ever the elegant romantic, once she was out of sight, I fished out the roses (when I knew the woman was out of sight), brought 'em home and stuck 'em in a vase. Aren't they pretty??
I reckon whatever the man had done to have his woman dump £70 worth of roses in the bin must have been pretty serious. Nonetheless, they look great on my dresser!

So, thank you Ms Perfection. I'm glad you're fussy!
In honour of being excused from the pressure of perfection on this full moon in Pisces night. . .a little Neptune in the 3rd joke. . .I suppose, given the circumstances, we could stretch it to a Venus cj Neptune in the 3rd!

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine. I'VE just quit drinking."

Monday, 23 August 2010

My New Theory

I have a new theory on crop circles which I will be unveiling shortly. In the meantime, please enjoy a very special Mercury conjunct Jupiter distraction:

Sunday, 22 August 2010


Well, with Saturn square my Venus this summer you'll have to forgive me for being a little aloof. I've had a good few week to think some things over and to make some decisions. After a very hard school year I have decided that:
1) The days of me running around 11 different classrooms are a thing of the past. I will never do that again. This September, it would appear I will have my own classroom. As far as I am concerned, this means I will ALWAYS have my own classroom. At my school, I have the most seniority and therefore I will not be engaging in the game of "make the newbies happy". I had to work hard for about four years before I could enjoy the very few benefits of being an experienced teacher. I was told my suffering would make me a better teacher and so I think the newbies will also benefit from the experience of teaching every lesson in a different classroom.
2) I have a life outside a classroom. That's right. I'm imposing boundaries. My day finishes at 4:30, every day. No more moon lighting for me!!! Dinner and then The Simpsons every night!!
3) With all this "free time" I need a new schedule to allow time to do the things I enjoy. Like astrology. Like playing my trumpet in the South London Jazz Orchestra. Like writing fiction.
Here's a photo of me enjoying life. It's taken at the top of Glastonbury Tor during a recent, much needed holiday. . .
And another thing. . .
Just when I was thinking that telling naughty jokes on my blog was bad for my extremely serious reputation, my very good friend Mike Edwards (more about him later)
reminded me that all good astrologers should remember that, if we want a bit of attention, the astrology world is not the place to search for it!!
In honour of making a few changes, here's a little message for anyone who thinks they will be able to mess with me this academic year. Let's call it Saturn cj Mercury in the eighth:
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."