When it's time to say good-bye

I used to think that good byes kinda sucked. And of course good byes do, in fact, suck quite a bit. But I wanted to say good bye to my pupils as best as I could so we could all have closure and move on to bigger and better things. So I made this short good bye video (took me ages to post it because uploads take a bit of time I didn't have here in Cape Town).

When the filming was done, I played it back for a friend to make sure it was OK. And we both ended up crying. I hadn't intended on creating something sad but rather something that would teach the boys that behind every goodbye there is a hello and welcome. It might not be exactly how we wanted things to end or be when we wanted to end them but sometimes we need a kick up the ass. I now know that is what I needed. About half an hour after I dried my eyes, Rob Hand asked me to sign my book for him. 

Now THAT is some crazy stuff right there.

How many of Rob's books do I have on my bookshelf? Lots. If I were at home I would count. Rob Hand is the astrologer we have all learned from: his books are classics, he's a genius and to have him sit through my lecture on Astrology and Adolescence and say it was "brilliant" had to be the high point of my career as an astrologer, writer and teacher.

Rob's endorsement was not what persuaded me to wave good bye to my return flight to London later that day but it did give me confirmation that it was time for me to step up to the plate.  So yes boys, say good bye. I really did love teaching you and if circumstances hadn't forced me, I would have committed to staying with you until I was old enough to retire. But now I have this great opportunity to bring astrology to the classroom (bet you didn't even realise I was using astrology!), to prisons, to struggling parents and to unhappy adolescents. It's my way of trying to make the world a better place. Say good bye but wish me luck too.

If you'd like to get your hands (a-hem) on the book endorsed by Rob, here's the link.

And watch this space for further developments.

I went to the beach to live deliberately. . .

With apologies to Henry David Thoreau. . .

I went to the beach because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.

I am having the most extraordinary time here in Cape Town. Every astrology conference is special but to live in a beach house and to be able to swim in the Atlantic Ocean pretty much whenever I like makes this conference totally remarkable.
And of course, this boy (Nick Dagan Best) who makes me laugh. . .and blush 50 shades of red:

And this man (Rob Hand) who attended my lecture on astrology and education and said it was brilliant:

And this man (Ehsan Kh) who blows this horn when he's happy and wants me to help him translate some Persian scholarship into English:

And this woman (Naomi Bennett) who is the only person I have seen on four different continents:

My peeps (Ehsan Kh, Michelle Gould, Samuel Reynolds, Richard Fidlar, Ana Carrapichanno) who I am so blessed to know and work and play with:

And these beautiful peeps. . .

I'm having such an extraordinary time that when my school told me (via email to the supply agency) they had found a cheaper replacement, my only regret was that I had bought a return ticket to London.

But now I'm not going back to London. At least not just yet.

Those last two sentences took a lot of vacillation until I came to the realisation everything was going to be okay here in South Africa. And I don't have to leave this beautiful place just yet.

But it has taken some time to make a decision.

What do I do when I feel I can't make up my mind? I head to water!

So today I went to the beach, took my shoes off and let the Atlantic Ocean talk to me. I saw a pretty shell that I picked up to admire, went to wash the sand off--and a wave knocked it out of my hand. I was disappointed but resigned myself to the fact it was not going to come back to me.

So I walked on.

And a few steps later, I found an even bigger, prettier shell. I picked that one up and rinsed it. But I managed to hold onto it. In fact, I brought it back with me to remind me that there are bigger things out there if we can let go of the smaller things. There are bigger things for me here. I have bigger work to do and I know that teaching was exhausting me mentally and I needed space to make things work. I know I could return to London and walk into another supply teaching post at any time. But I am not going to do that. I am going to do readings and workshops here in South Africa until I feel I am on the path I am meant to be on. I will not be afraid and I will not let doubt defeat me.

So today I went to the beach because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

And I will take this pretty shell with me to remind not worry about small losses.