Hot Alex

For May Day weekend, I made my way to Glastonbury to--wait for it--walk on hot coals. It just seemed like such a primeval thing to do--and very appropriate for Beltane. Anyway, here's what it looked like before the fire:

Here it is burning:

Here is the path, ready for walking:

And me:


If you'd like to go firewalking, I highly recommend that you contact my friends Max and Lisa at:
Wizard Well Being

And now, in honour of Beltane a little Mars conjunct Saturn in 8th house joke:
A man goes to a doctor and is interviewed by a female consultant.
"What's the problem?" she asks.
"I can't tell you," he said.
"Why not?"
"Oh, you'll just laugh like everyone else."
"Look," she says, "I'm a professional. I've seen everything and in my 20 years in the medical profession, I have never laughed."
"OK," the man says, pulling down his trousers and pants. He turned to the nurse, revealing the smallest penis she had ever seen. It was about the size of a AAA battery. The female consultant felt the corners of her mouth twitch, then she completely lost control. She threw her head back and roared with laughter.
"I'm so sorry!" she said between guffaws. "I don't know what came over me. What's the problem?"
He said: "It's swollen!"

Hawkwind!

Blogger has given me an unbelievable amount of grief but I'm back!

For the first time ever, I even managed to complete 2 Astrology Quarterlies. I am so pleased with myself.

I'm also doing another MA and in the throes of finishing my first paper. Why another MA? Because my education hasn't put me in enough debt! Not really. My school asked if I wanted to do and MA in education if they paid for it and I said "yes please!".
So what else is new?

Well, I now have red hair (the greys were freaking me out) and I've just managed to choke down a dose of Chinese medicine. I've also found some very nice photos taken at the Big Green Gathering a few years ago of the band Hawkwind! What a group!





We were just standing around in this hot old marquee and suddenly, everyone was on their feet dancing! It was such a great moment of letting the music take over one's mind, body and spirit.

Of course, it can't be like that all the time and we have to do a bit more concentrating. So, if I have to return to work (because I wasn't smart enough to go to the US for spring break), you, gentle reader, can put up with a little saturn in the 3rd house joke!

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved
off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Best pun ever

In honour of Neptune transiting my Natal Venus, a little Gandhi joke.

Gandhi never wore shoes and as a result, he had quite awful bunions. As an enlightened guru, he also didn't eat much and his body was frequently weakened from hunger. Because his digestion often played up, he sufferened from (or rather others suffered from) very bad breath. So, in short, Gandhi was a super-calloused, fragile, mystic, hexed by haliotosis!

Sink or Swim

Arrrggghhhh!

What a month at school: Saturday tuitions, Parents' Evenings, Options Evenings, a lesson observation, APP folders (don't ask what APP means--boring teacher lingo) and I'm doing FAS exams and an MA in education (because I just don't have enough post graduate certificates that I've gone into debt for to admire).

Oh and the Q is due. . .

As they say, sink or swim.

*blowing up water wings*

The last time I felt so pressurised was when I was doing the dissertation for the MA in CAA. Which reminds me. . .

Above is a picture of us Sophia Centre graduates sharing a meal at UAC in Denver: There's Mary, Brook, Nick Campion, Branka, James, Chris, me and Alice. Don't we look sweet and innocent?

In honour of the time honoured tradition of "when it rains, it pours" so you might as well make a little dance of it, here's a very special Neptune cj Mars in the 12th house joke for over achievers everywhere:

Two eskimos are in a kayak. They get cold and so decide to light a fire. Of course, the kayak sinks. So you see, this really does prove you can't have your kayak and heat it too. . .

Club of 27

Whilst sorting through some files on my computer, I came across this one of us from "The Club of 27". That's Neil Spencer, John Etherington, Andrew Morton, Nick and me. This seems like such a long time ago! Anyway, shortly afterwards, we were featured in Astrologus, the Serbian astrology magazine. Here we are admiring ourselves (I think Andrew looks like a very contented cat!):

Speaking of cats, my cat, Mr Bubbles is doing a lot better. He's putting on weight and is back to demanding that we stroke him and spoil him.

Anyway, as you undoubtedly know, the Club of 27 is about those who have left this earth at the tender age of 27: Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones, Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix.

In honour of the dearly departed but not forgotten here's a very special Pluto in the 8th house joke:

A vulture gets on a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant says: "Sorry sir, only 1 carrion item allowed."

Poor Bubbles!

My darling furry boy kept throwing up and stopped eating a couple of weeks ago so I took him to the vet. His brother Perseus was also sick but was recovering. The vet gave the boys some shots and sent us on our way with some antibiotics. Poor Bubbles kept getting sicker and sicker and skinnier and skinnier! So I took him back to the vet--who couldn't find anything wrong. As Bubbles wasn't eating, he had to go on a drip (see the poor thing, above).

Well, one day, the vet saw loads of cotton thread coming out of Bubbles' little butt and figured it was time to operate! After a four hour operation (which the vet didn't think he'd survive), Bubbles had an awful lot of cottom untangled from his intestines. The vet showed me the thread--and I recognised it from my sewing kit which is zipped up and out of kitty cat sight. Or so I thought. When I got home, I checked--and there was a completely empty spool of the thread I used to sew buttons on my daughter's school uniform!

Arrrrggggggg! Anyway, Bubbles did survive. Here's an updated photo:

He's still as skinny as a mink but he's slowly putting weight back on. He has a big old scar on his stomach so now we call him "Franken-Bubbles".

It's amazing how stressed out we get over our pets!

In (dis)honour of string, here's a little Neptune in the sixth house joke for sick kitties:

A piece of string goes into the bar and yells: "Oi!! Barman! Give me a drink!" The barman picks up the string and throws him into the street.

Thirsty, the string sits down to think of what he's going to do to get a drink. Suddenly, he comes up with a cunning plan. he's going to disguise himself! So he contorts himself into a completely
different shape and frizzes his hair into an afro. He goes back into the bar, hops up on the barstool and smiles sweetly at the bartender.

The bartender says: "You're that piece of string I threw out 5 minutes ago!"

The string says: "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

Alex and Ronnie Wood!!

So there I was in Belsize Park, enjoying a curry!! Who should walk in but Ronnie Wood!!

I can't get no satisfaction!! (do pardon the double negative!)

Arrrragggggg!!!!

Of course, he would have to drop in on the very day that I spent the previous 12 hours scraping wallpaper!!

In honour of nice guys (and Ronnie was SO nice, he smiled at my daughter for loudly asking: "Who is Ronnie Wood??"), here's a Saturn-Neptune conjunction in the 6th house joke!!

A frog goes into a bank to ask for a loan for 30,000 pounds. He approaches the teller and can see from the name plate that her name is "Patricia Whack."

"Miss Whack," he says, "I need a loan to go on a much needed holiday."

She stops shuffling her paper pointlessly, stands up and looks down at the frog at the counter. "You're a FROG!" she says. "We don't give loans to dumb animals."

"Look," says the frog, "I know people. My name is Kermit Jagger."

The teller stares at the frog.

"You know," says the frog, "JAGGER. Mick JAGGER is me dad!"

"Oh yeah right," says Patricia Whack, "So what do you have for collateral then?"

The frog pulls out a one inch porcelain pink elephant from his pocket. "Don't forget," he warns her, "I know people."

Playing along, Patricia consults her boss.

"There's a frog out there called Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow 30,oo0 pounds for a holiday,"she tells him, "Oh and he want to use this," she holds up the little pink elephant, "as collateral!"

To her surprise, the bank manager gasps and says: "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

PS, thanks Jess for taking the photo!!