Ahhhh. . .

Here's something to aspire to. . .a special Venus in 7th--with a Neptune transit--for all you lovers everywhere. . .

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping – Love you!!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am! drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!”

Pretty Kitty

I love cats.

I especially love it when they walk on me when I'm in bed. I love the way they stick their cold little noses in my ear and purr. I love to watch them stretch. I love it when they meow at me because I'm not opening their tin of food quick enough. I love it when they rub themselves against my legs. I keep thinking I'd like to get them to paint like the cat, right.

Anyway, this morning my beautiful boy, Purrseus (below left), killed a mouse just for me. How do I know he killed it for me? Because he left it right where he knew I would be sure to step on it. Yuk. Try having mouse guts squashed between your toes at 6 am. I do love my cats though (we also have his twin brother Bubbles). So much that I'm going to declare it Caturday with a gorgeous range of Venus in the 6th house jokes. By the way, you might know that small animals rule the 6th house and big animals ruled the 12th. So how do you know if an animal is "big" or "small"? Well, apparently, if it's bigger than a goat, it's 12th house and if it's smaller than a goat it's the 6th. However, I forgot to ask: "what about goats themselves?"

No matter. . .here's a few cat jokes. Happy Caturday!

1. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

2. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

3. Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.