Sunday, 1 June 2008

Cleaning up the underworld

I couldn't decide whether to sing sexy sexagenarian Harrison Ford's praises or blow cyber raspberries at Boris Johnson for "banning" alcohol on public transport. So I thought, in true Gemini-rising style, I'd do both.

Goddamn, that Harrison Ford is one hot old man. He's sixty-six this year? Blimey. Why am I on about Harrison? I went to see the Indiana Jones flick last night with my own sexy sexagenarian (well, I do have Capricorn one the 8th house cusp). A lot of these sexy sexagenarian's were born during the Saturn/Pluto conjunction of 1946 (actually Harrison was born a few years before so strictly speaking he doesn't count--however, he does have Pluto transiting his progressed Moon) which means that their second Saturn return would trigger that smouldering sensuality of Pluto in Leo. Think Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Mick Jagger. Oh and for the boys, Susan Sarandon.

Boris Johnson has just banned drinking alcohol on public transport. Oh yeah right, that'll work. Who's going to enforce that one? Transport police? They can't even stop mobs of teenagers rampaging through the aisles emancipating everyone of their wallets and electronic goodies. I would suggest we should ban stupid hairstyles on men but half the male astrologers would be in the clink and we have so few as it is.
OK, in honour of today's sexy sexagenarians and stupid ideas from our new mayor of London that will never work, a special, triple conjunction joke appropriate for a Sunday.
Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune cj in the 9th house
Billy was a painter and alcoholic who was down on his luck. One day, the local vicar offered to pay him for repainting the local cathedral but because of his unreliability, would only pay after the job was finished. So Billy checked his inventory and after a few quick calculations, realised he would be quite short of paint. Not one to be easily discouraged, he mixed the good paint with some turps and got to work. When he finished, everyone was very impressed. The new paint job was just what was needed. So the vicar paid Billy and Billy went out to buy a few cans of Stella to celebrate. On the way back, Billy decided he would have a final look at his mighty fine work. To his surprise, a crowd had also gathered to join in admiration. Just then, clouds began to gather and very soon, it began to rain. It didn't take long for the crowd to notice that Billy's paint was washing away. The crowd turned on poor Billy and just as they were about to burn him at the stake, Billy cried out to God for help.
"I am so sorry, God! Please help me!" he hollered. Suddenly, there was a mighty crack of lightning and from the sky, a terrifying finger of flame emerged pointing straight a Billy. Simultaneously, the ropes that bound him, burned away.
"Now go," a voiced boomed, "re-paint and thin no more."

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