In honour of my favourite rock astrologer (OK, she's the only rock astrologer I know of but she is MEGA cool), here's my very flattering Sun cj Neptune with a Jupiter transit in the 7th joke.
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Enid Williams: Rock Astrologer
In honour of my favourite rock astrologer (OK, she's the only rock astrologer I know of but she is MEGA cool), here's my very flattering Sun cj Neptune with a Jupiter transit in the 7th joke.
Tuesday 1 July 2008
Alex Trenoweth's guide to annoying star signs
Taurus: Move their furniture around--just a little bit. Eat in front of them without offering them anything. Make sure you finish every crumb.
Gemini: Don’t speak to them or don’t give them the chance to speak at all. Make sure you immobilise their hands too.
Cancer: Insult their mothers, their country or their offspring. Deny them all dairy products. Especially cheese (all right, that would get on MY nerves)
Leo: Hide their hair gel/hair brush, then take away their mirrors
Virgo: Eat something that makes your fingers sticky then shake their hand. Make sure there's no running water/soap/hand wipes first.
Libra: Let them know they’re not invited to your party. Make a big point of handing out the invitations in front of them.
Scorpio: Return their “evil” glare without a flinch, expose their secret plans, act as if you're not morally offended at their double entendres.
Sagittarius: Tie them up. Gag them and don’t let them exercise their right to freedom of speech. Hide their passport.
Capricorn: Put everyone to work, then make sure everyone gets a pay rise and promotion except them. Tell them they're lazy and will never amount to anything.
Aquarius: Deny them the opportunity to do group work, make them wear a business suit with the tie done all the way to the top. Ensure they blend in with the crowd.
Pisces: Give them all the alcohol they can drink then give them a map and tell them to find their own way home.
Sunday 29 June 2008
Practice Hen Night
However, don't you just love it when you do something different with you hair and it works?
And here's me a few hours later at a club we found near Oxford Circus, looking a little tired. Don't be too hard on me--it's 1am and my bedtime is usually about 9:30. Special note: Jules has this lipstick that makes your lips feel like you've been supping the tabasco sauce. But don't they look lush?
And the nominee for the weirdest toilets goes to. . .
this club in London had toilets that looked like something out of Alien. I was scared to use them and opted for a hedge ticket on the way home. No not really, I did use them but I was still pretty freaked out.
Me and Kim, with Jules taking the photograph. Some sweet young male thangs made the passing comment: "There's some nice looking ladies!" Made our night! Although, standing next to Kim, I think I look like a hulking female impersonator!
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Wednesday 25 June 2008
Pretty Kitty
Monday 23 June 2008
And thanks to Claire Chandler!
Here we are at Sue Farebrother's aforementioned, (but still not revealing numbers), party.
Saturday 21 June 2008
Happy Birthday Sue Farebrother
Saturday 7 June 2008
Pluto, RIP
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo so we should look forward to more refined, respectable hairstyles. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”