This is pure bragging but just look at my bowling score! 142! 6 spares, 1 strike and only two gutter balls! Usually I get 6 gutter balls, 2 spares and er, 1 strike per game. I don't know what got into me but that ball was going where I was aiming. Maybe it's some weird astrocartagraphy line that makes bowling more favourable for me in Michigan. Oh wait, the next game I was more true to form (no photos of that scoreboard). . .
It's a shame I couldn't attribute my phenomenal score to Ojibwa Corn Soup but it's more likely a result of my dinner consisting of a chilli dog with cheese washed down with Mountain Dew (I did take a photo of that for posterity)! BTW I tried to smuggle Mountain Dew out of the country but was busted out. It just about broke my heart when security threw the two cans I had intended on saving for a rainy day (would have come in handy yesterday) into the nearest trash can--OK rubbish bin. My vocabulary will return to normal soon and I'll be back to good old British synonyms.
Speaking of synonyms, I have a good old homonym (get a dictionary!) joke worthy of a Mars in the 9th with Mercury stationary:
One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."