Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Pluto square Uranus (for Ray Merriman), part 2

Well, we all know what Pluto rules: hell, sewers and all things decaying underground. And with a name like Ur-anus, perhaps you should know in advance that this is not the type of joke a kid will appreciate. No wait, I take it back. . . it's exactly the type of joke a kid would appreciate. It's the parents who might not want them to hear it. So if you're under, say, 18, it's time to look away. Also look away if you're of a sensitive nature--though as this aspect is currently in the sky, it's highly unlikely you'll be able to avoid getting offended no matter how much you try!

A man wakes up early one Saturday morning and says to his wife: "Woman, we're going fishing, whether you like it or not!"

The woman groans, rolls over and mumbles "The hell I am. I hate fishing."

"Look," the man says, "I'm tired of you griping about fishing. You're going fishing with me and the dog and that's that!"

The woman mumbles, "I am NOT going fishing."

The man says, "Oh yes you are. You are my WIFE. You will do what pleases me. And fishing pleases me. So you will come fishing with me."

"Look," the woman says, "I hate fishing. I do want to please you but not fishing. Can't we do something else that pleases you?" she adds saucily.

The man thinks for a moment. "OK," he says. "I'll give you a choice of three things that please me. You choose one and then I can never claim that you never do anything that pleases me."

The woman considers this for a minute and agrees.

"OK," says the man. "Here are your choices: 1) you come fishing with me and the dog, 2) you give me a blow job or 3) you take it up the ass. I'm going out to pack the car. When I come back, you give me your answer."

"Ugg! I don't want to do any of those! They're ALL disgusting!"
"I'm going out to pack the car," the man says again. "When I come back, you'd better have your answer!"
He leaves the room and she considers in each option in turn. None appeal. So she starts to think of which one would be worse and she thinks that up the ass would be the worst with fishing a close second. So with no other option, she decides on the blow job.
The husband returns and she smiles sweetly and says: "Darling, I'll go for the blow job."
He says, "Great!" and pulls his trousers down and gets himself into position.
"Yuk!" she says. "You smell all shitty!"
"Yes. That's right," says the husband, "The dog didn't want to go fishing either!"
(Sorry Ray but you should have known better!!)

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