Thursday, 21 August 2008

My kind of girl!

Bryony Shaw busts her butt to get a medal and during her post race interview (in floods of euphoric tears) she says: "It was such a hard race and I had such a hard week. It's the best thing in the world. I love my mum and dad so much, they are so supportive. And my boyfriend Greg. My coach Tom is such a legend. I am so f***ing happy."

I'm not one for superfluous obscenities but I do love and appreciate passion! Until yesterday I didn't even know who Bryony Shaw was but today, she's my hero!

(On the side, isn't it amazing--and quite indicative of today's culture--that we seem to have completely forgotten about the plight of the Dalai Lama?)

In honour of girls who swear, here's a very special joke, Mars cj Mercury with a Pluto transit in the 6th. If you're offended by swearing, then come back in a couple of days. . .

A lonely woman buys a parrot from a pet shop to keep her company. She puts the bird in its cage and converses with it daily in the hope it will hold up its end of the conversation. The bird doesn't speak. Although disappointed, the woman keeps trying.

One day, her old friend, a priest, stops to visit. The woman welcomes the priest in her home and introduces him to her parrot. The parrot takes one look at the priest and says "You goddamned, mother-fucking son of a bitch!"

Horrified, the woman takes the bird back to the pet shop and complains.

"I've had this bird for months!" she wails "And it never speaks. I have my first visitor--my old friend the priest--and it swears!"

"Relax," says the pet shop owner. "It happens all the time. You see, men always catch parrots. They throw jackets over the birds' head; maybe even give it a few taps to keep it quiet. So you see why the bird swears at men?"

"Yes but what can I do?"

"That's easy," said the shop owner. "You got to punish it. The next time it swears, reach inside the cage, grab a hold of its legs and swing it over your head. Cures the swearing."

Doubtful, the woman returns home. And the bird still doesn't speak. Months pass. Then her old friend, the priest, stops by. The parrot takes one look at the priest and says: "You goddamned, mother-fucking son of a bitch!" The woman reaches inside the cage, grabs a hold of the bird--just like the pet shop owner says--and swings it over her head.

The parrot says: "WooooooooooooWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Feel the fucking breeze!"

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